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Thursday, July 29, 2010
Talk Instead of Text
When it comes to romantic relationships, texting is not the way to go! It's okay for light chit chat but a majority of communication should be done over the phone or in person. You may wonder what the difference is between someone texting you and talking to you on the phone. It's easier to do a lot of things by typing words rather than saying it. Someone could be leading you on, lying, making sarcastic remarks, and even sexual comments (which you may not catch through a text).
If someone is willing to text but never talk, it's a red flag. Maybe they really aren't that into you, aren't serious, are cheating, or something else is up. Maybe times I get clients that say their spouse, significant other, or love interest won't call them. So sometimes they take matters into their own hands and call the person to get no answer but then they text them. Let me tell you, it is always a red flag. In every case something has been up with the other person; some are cheating, others aren't into other person, some aren't serious and just want a fling, but sometimes they're just afraid of a relationship.
I often tell my clients to confront the other person and see what's going on. It is possible to fix this depending on what is up with the other person. So the next time you find yourself in a relationship where texting is your #1 form of communication . . . acknowledge that red flag and follow your intuition. You may just be able to save the relationship . . . or end it before wasting more time. So the next time your husband is texting you but isn't willing to answer a call, are you sure he isn't with another girl? Or the next time your girlfriend won't call you to tell you goodnight and she loves you but texts it instead . . . does she really mean it or is she just trying to make you happy? Never underestimate these things. I know it's easy to overlook a lot of this and make up excuses for the other person. But take a realistic approach. If it happens on occasion, it's no big deal. But when someone is constantly texting and not willing to throw in a call . . . it could be a bigger issue. Once again, follow your intuition.
I can tell you that, in my personal experiences, whenever one of my relationships gets low on communication or everything is done by texting, I slowly grow apart from the other person. That's why I always try to push communicating by phone or in person with friends from time-to-time and even more so with romantic partners. I urge all my clients to do the same and help them along their way by giving them answers, advice, and guidance. Trust yourself when it comes down to texting instead of talking.