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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Talk Instead of Text

Does this picture look familiar? To most people that read this, it is something that they see and do on a daily basis. In today's day and age with techonology being the center focus, it's easy to get caught up in communicating via texts, instant messengers, and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. But, hands down, texting is the most popular form of interaction.

Chances are, if you have a cell phone . . . you text. If you text, you probably text everyone: your best friend, your, Uncle Jim, that one guy from college (you still aren't sure how he got your number), that girl down the street that looks like Britney Spears, and maybe even your boss! Texting is one of the most popular forms of communication because it's secretive so you can do it at just about any time! But, texting while driving is dangerous. So please please please refrain from doing that! =] In addition to texting the above, you probably text romantic interests where it's someone you like, your significant other, or spouse. But did you know texting can hurt a relationship?

When it comes to romantic relationships, texting is not the way to go! It's okay for light chit chat but a majority of communication should be done over the phone or in person. You may wonder what the difference is between someone texting you and talking to you on the phone. It's easier to do a lot of things by typing words rather than saying it. Someone could be leading you on, lying, making sarcastic remarks, and even sexual comments (which you may not catch through a text).

If someone is willing to text but never talk, it's a red flag. Maybe they really aren't that into you, aren't serious, are cheating, or something else is up. Maybe times I get clients that say their spouse, significant other, or love interest won't call them. So sometimes they take matters into their own hands and call the person to get no answer but then they text them. Let me tell you, it is always a red flag. In every case something has been up with the other person; some are cheating, others aren't into other person, some aren't serious and just want a fling, but sometimes they're just afraid of a relationship.

No matter what it is, it's time to talk to this person if you're having communication issues and most of your communication is through text messaging. No, they may not be cheating, but something else could be bugging them about the relationship. Talk to them. Because if communication is down (and something else is up with them) then it makes the foundation of any relationship weak. It's time to get to the heart of the matter and figure out what's wrong . . . or find someone else that is willing to communicate. Verbal communication is key to a relationship. If you want a successful relationship, whether it's with someone you've been with for 50 minutes or 50 years, communication has to be there. If not, you may end up like this girl in the picture. Because as soon as communication begins to fail, the foundation or any relationship begins to crumble only leading to worse things down the road.

I often tell my clients to confront the other person and see what's going on. It is possible to fix this depending on what is up with the other person. So the next time you find yourself in a relationship where texting is your #1 form of communication . . . acknowledge that red flag and follow your intuition. You may just be able to save the relationship . . . or end it before wasting more time. So the next time your husband is texting you but isn't willing to answer a call, are you sure he isn't with another girl? Or the next time your girlfriend won't call you to tell you goodnight and she loves you but texts it instead . . . does she really mean it or is she just trying to make you happy? Never underestimate these things. I know it's easy to overlook a lot of this and make up excuses for the other person. But take a realistic approach. If it happens on occasion, it's no big deal. But when someone is constantly texting and not willing to throw in a call . . . it could be a bigger issue. Once again, follow your intuition.

I can tell you that, in my personal experiences, whenever one of my relationships gets low on communication or everything is done by texting, I slowly grow apart from the other person. That's why I always try to push communicating by phone or in person with friends from time-to-time and even more so with romantic partners. I urge all my clients to do the same and help them along their way by giving them answers, advice, and guidance. Trust yourself when it comes down to texting instead of talking.

Beautiful Blessings,
Natasha <3


  1. Great post, Natasha! I think contact via text only can be pretty tricky, too, and definitely not a way to discuss anything serious. So if you're only texting, then it simply isn't serious.

  2. Hey! Thanks, Nathara! I agree! I do it a lot with friends and it bugs me because I like hearing the other person's voice . . . AND my fingers don't get tired from that! And, let me tell you, it's ALWAYS causing drama. Especially when someone doesn't reply (could be a technical error) or one person takes something wrong. Sometimes it's easier to say something to someone through a text; I've been guilty of doing that. But now I'm looking at is as: if I can't say it in person, I shouldn't say it over a text.

    Beautiful Blessings,
    Natasha <3


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